Chicken Pox, Part 1

February 20, 2004

Escaped to deliver clothes to Finns & to do the grocery shopping at Doris' Italian Market where I bought myself crab salad & garlic roasted asparagus & a bottle of ginger ale for a lunch. I encountered Heather & her mother walking home from their nearby church with the children--coming from Colleen's dayschool presumably. They made a big deal about how I had escaped. I told them I could handle Grace's dreadful chicken pox & even the glass I found in Grandpa's closet that had evaporated & molding urine crystals--but I couldn't take any more of the children's complaining, disappointed attitudes about being quarantined.


It was nice to get out for "fresh air" after the last two days. Cal & I had a lovely Monday together wandering our way home across western Florida, finding the lovely parkway (19?) coming out of Tallahassee (he finished reading Adam's book on Sonship to me while I drove), coming close enough at lunchtime to the coast at Yankeetown to make a quick excursion to see the Gulf of Mexico, driving at dusk through orange groves of Central Florida, arriving home by 8:10 & supper with the family. Grace was extra clingy & didn't feel like finishing her meal. We stayed up too late & we were so tired!


Then Tuesday, Cal & Susan & David all away, I got back into schoolwork with the kids. But Grace didn't feel well, nor did I, nor did the other children look well. By afternoon class Grace was sleeping on the floor. I think her first pox came out Tuesday night but they were so small & scattered it didn't occur to me that they were chicken pox. Wednesday a.m. there were more & I grew suspicious. Went out for coffee with Pam & by the time I got back she was breaking out more & more. We began oatmeal baths & benadryl. She's maintained a low grade fever. Thursday everything just go worse. And I was physically exhausted. Spend the afternoon with only Grace & Grandpa in the house--Pam took Becky, Peter, & AJ & fed them supper. Nonnie came home & figured out by the notes Pam left me in the kitchen that I stood in the way of help. She finished the laundry & fixed the leftovers supper for us. I ate upstairs with Grace. We went to sleep early last night & slept long. But from 8 am. I was caring for Grace & cleaning, etc. David is gone to Chattanooga for interviews for college scholarship money.

Father, hear the prayer we offer
Not for ease that prayer shall be,
But for strength that we may ever
Live our lives courageously.

Not for ever in green pastures
Do we ask our way to be;
But the steep and rugged pathway
May we tread rejoicingly.

Not for ever by still waters
Would we idly rest and stay;
But would smite the living fountains
From the rocks along our way.

Be our Strength in hours of weakness,
In our wanderings, be our Guide;
Through endeavor, failure, danger,
Father, be thou at our side.

Mrs. L. M. Willis, 1864

Weekend in Tallahassee

February 14, 2004

Scrounging in my purse for a pen I found the brightly colored gel pens that Grace tried to send home with Michael for her cousin, Claire. Life is so busy I haven't cleaned out my purse since his visit weeks ago! And what budding thoughtfulness inspired Grace to send the unneeded gift to Claire. Michael, packed tightly for easy travel handed them back to me after we left the house.

Cal and I are at Tom E's vacation house south of Cairo, Georgia. It was sad to walk in here & see the pictures gone from the walls & most of the books from the shelves. He has the house on the market now--so dreams of retreats here must come to an end. However, this retreat of ours this weekend is wonderfully needed & appreciated! Even with so many amenities missing, the quiet & solitude & natural & man-made beauty of this place blesses us. Oh that Tom would keep such a place as a pastors' retreat. Oh that the Lord would bless us financially to be able to make such a retreat ourselves.

I now understand the necessity of such retreats. And I bless the Lord for giving Cal & me so many small retreats of late: Lago Mar for our 20th anniversary, Ligonier conference in D.C. in October 2003, the weekend up here at this house with the children at the end of August. Time away from the sweet & never-ending responsibilities of life.

We read about sabbath laws this morning...

February 15

A beautiful cool, clear morning. Cal & I dressed for church & just went out for a short walk. The Ralph Vaughan Williams Hymnal CD is filling Tom's house (we figured out how to make the music come to other rooms). It rained all day yesterday. We stayed in but for a short walk late afternoon. Finished a quiet day of reading & resting with fettuccine, wine, & a round of backgammon. Father in heaven, thank You for this retreat & please make me so thankful for all the beauty I come to take for granted.

Cal shared with me the journal pieces he was given last week. What joy & comfort it brings. God our Father who delights to give us good gifts, please lead & guide & bless. For Your glory.

Please, also, I ask that You let us know with all our beings that we are meeting You this morning in Your worship. Please cause us to be still & know that You are God. Please help us to worship you in spirit & in truth. Without Your aid, we remain dull.

Matthew 22:29: Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures nor the power of God.

February 17

What a wonderful Lord's Day we had! From Pastor Hobbs; opening prayer to the end of the day. Yesterday as we relistened to the RVW album I was blessed to know how he'd answered the prayer of this song, on which I meditated as we drove on Meridian Road to church Sunday a.m.

Disposer Supreme, and Judge of the earth,
Who choosest for thine the weak and the poor,
To frail earthen vessels, and things of no worth
Entrusting thy riches which ay shall endure;
Those vessels soon fail, though full of thy light,
And at thy decree are broken and gone;
Then brightly appeareth the aim of thy might;
As through the clouds breaking the lightnings have shone.
Like clouds are they borne to do thy great will,
And swift as the winds about the world go;
All full of thy Godhead, while earth lieth still,
They thunder, they lighten. The waters o'erflow.
O loud be their trump, and stirring the sound,
To rouse us, O Lord, from sin's deadly sleep;
May lights which though kindlest in darkness around
The dull soul awaken her vigils to keep!
All honor and praise, dominion and might,
To thee, Three in One, eternally be,
Who pouring around us thy glorious light,
Dost call us from darkness thy glory to see.

Words: Jean-Baptiste de Santeüil, 1686

Pastor Hobbs' prayer was such a beautiful mixture of the immanent & the transcendent--he spoke in very common language & falteringly & in very informal language, but the reverence & humility into which it led us, and the scripture to which he constantly referred was quite a picture of how God entrusts His riches in failing vessels. I could see six years aging on Pastor Hobbs. Then the power of the Word preached was magnificent. He is not eloquent as some (still, he's a good preacher) but the Holy Spirit is faithful to the preached Word. I'm not saying this well with all the interruptions of the children but how thrilled & thankful I was at hearing the Word & what humility & thanksgiving I believe it produced in the hearers.

He read Exodus 3 where Moses meets God & learns His name. Then Matthew 22:23-33 where Christ confronted by the Sadducees about the resurrection (which they didn't believe in anyhow!) Then Hebrews 12:1- I've ordered the tape to hear it again--there was so much there. But that Christ explained "I AM" (not I was) the God of Abraham, Isaac, & Jacob & all those in Christ are still living. It was a very tender & encouraging sermon by its end I was crying. Later I laughed at this joke I seem to have with God. It seems whenever I have a thought: "Well, I can't imagine crying in worship today--I feel so happy & up & steady," invariably I do cry. Now I could just not have thought at all, but it always comes, almost like a dare. There are days when I feel as if I might cry, and then I do, but so funny that the days I think positively about not crying, I do. There are days when I don't think anything at all--& those days I don't usually cry.

What made me cry most of all was the great encouragement about being with the Lord. I need to reread Cal's notes to remember more. It even encouraged me for & about Grandpa. Speaking of whom I need to go see if he's showering.