I was so discouraged after my interview with the doctor, an urbane middle-aged woman who kept expressing her astonishment that I had 6 children. She said they frown on home birth and indicated it probably wouldn't be possible given their system. She offered to write a letter of introduction to the hospital at Dundee in order to get me started into the system. I don't want to be in the system but I couldn't see any way to get prenatal care or back-up care in case of complications. The apparent self-centeredness & self-indulgence of the British culture which show itself in the small families and amazement that anyone would have more than two is so depressing to me. How dreadfully I miss the community of reformed Christians back home. Oh were is one other big family?! Where are people who love the Lord and trust Him? We had Kristy Cosden over for dinner along with Brenton. I was depressed & tired but remembered Cal's reading of Luke 11 & the lesson we long ago learned to ask God for what we needed in order to serve others. Dinner of baked haddock was delicious & pleasing to everyone. Kristy gave me a name of a woman to call who could give me information about private midwives & home birth. I called today & received the number of a midwife in Anstruther and encouragement that the "system" was not the only way to go.

Last night going to bed discouraged I had a long dream about M.N. (representing, I think, godliness) & awoke greatly refreshed. Today as Cal & I returned from shopping I began singing "A Mighty Fortress" & he joined me by the second verse & I found the meditation of it a great reminder to me. And this morning or last night at some time I remembered 2 Cor 9:8 which I'd nearly forgotten. Thank you, Lord, for meeting me at my need.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you that in all things, at all times, having that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Oh, give thanks to the Lord. Call upon His name; make known His deeds among the peoples. Sing to Him; sing psalms to Him; talk of all His wondrous works. Glory in His holy name. Psalm 105:1-3

Fife Health Centre, 3:30 pm Tues

David & I walked here from Hepburn Gardens for my appt w/ Dr. Randall. We passed all the children & mothers going home from school. The walk took us less than half an hour. I found it lonesome and humbling to pass all the newer, simpler St Andrews homes with young mothers standing in the doors greeting their little children. A past world I know nothing of as a mother since we homeschool. I don't believe anyone does it here in Scotland. People are so surprised when I tell them we teach our children at home. I found myself eager to go shopping at Sam's! (Cal is quite frustrated with the inefficiencies & inconveniences of the economy here. Indeed, it will be a challenge to shop every day just to put meals on. Yet, we're here, for better or worse, and we can't go home until our time is up and we'll just have to submit to how things are.) I'm here at the Health Centre to get into the system. Only by seeing a doctor first are you able to get referrals for midwives. I think it abominable that I, a foreigner, can come for ten months and get free health care with not a bit of documentation. I would not do it, but I can't see an alternative. I can't even find the private doctors without entering the system. I came because last week I began to worry that I could not feel the baby move ever. Saturday we came in to hear a heartbeat. Now I'm beginning to feel some movement and I feel sheepish that I don't trust my gracious Father more completely. I would like to never come again & just have the baby at home when it comes. Maybe I can do that; but now I'll lay groundwork for medical assistance.

I do find the system here of the doctors attending the patients, calling for them in the waiting rooms themselves, not a bunch of nurses & preliminary tests, a refreshing change.
MacGregor [our landlord] told me this morning that they would not be providing another bed for us. I got his permission to put the bed frame away & put the mattress on the floor though he seemed a bit prickly about it. Then we learned through an appt w/ realtors who showed the house today that they still intend to sell it.